Desde Que Te Vi SongFic
by ElAmorComienza
Summary: A letter from Scorpius that Rose never got... Part of "His Little Angel" series, settled a few months after "His Little Angel"... Complete - R&R - SongFic


**A/N:** I'm back! Nope, I'm not dead… Just extremely busy…

Ok,now… I proudly represent you my first song-fic, first betad work and yet another part of my "His Little Angel" series…

It takes place at Christmas, 6th year, a few months after the actual "His Little Angel"… As I said earlier, it's a letter that Rosie never got, either cause he wasn't courageous enough to send it, or cause Orion got it lost in the middle of a snow-blizzard or sth…

I wanted to mention sth else too... Just because you don't know it [it's mentioned in the series, but the actual story about it is nowhere than my own mind] that at the end of 5th year, Scorp's mum died… Cookie in anyone who can find it mentioned between the lines… [claps for the amazing betaing once more…]

I had this going on for a loooong time, when just a month before I decided to finish it off… I was undecided, troubled, bored to type and unsure… But I wanted it to be perfect… All I needed was a person to guide me through some parts… Here **.** enters the story… See, Sam was there for my never-ending oddness, even through her own never-ending obligations in real life… We had a lot of fun, at least I did, as I ripped my hair off and laughed my ass out, and I very very, very thank her for the last part of the fic, the couple of last paragraphs, were she used her magic…

Go visit her profile and her awesome stories! If you like this story, you own her too!

You could ask why I'm sooooo obsessed with her, and I have a reason… Besides her great work, she's my first beta, and as a first she has a special place in my list… Now I'm talking like a in-love little giggly girl who's not-so-virgin-anymore… I must attend a psycho doc…

As you can see, as a song-fic it has the lyrics, and just because the original is in Spanish, I have the translation after the actual lyrics… [too many becauses]

The characters belong to J.K.R., the song belongs to ChrisMorenaCO and the words to me… [exept from the most beautiful that belong to **.**…]

Now, to everyone that had read that far, you deserve a breathtaking tight bear-like hug!

Enjoy! ;p

Desde Que Te Vi

My little angel,

_Algún día nos juramos_  
_ser amigos hasta el fin,_

_One day we took a vow_  
_to be friends until the end_

It was years ago, but I remember it as if it was yesterday. There we were, at a nearly empty Library that smelled of old parchment and dust, when you, Rose Weasley, vowed eternal friendship to me.

It was a rather sunny day, the warmth of the sun invaded the room through large windows, making your hair turn to a burning fire, twisted into vivid curls. We sat on that same table, you were playing with your undone tie as you spoke. The only thing I could do then was to stare at you, trying to let the moment sink in; the memory to be sculptured into my brain and be kept there forever. And it worked. Even now, after all these years, I can quote every one of your spoken words. I could never forget the way you sat, casually spread on the chair, making me hold back my chuckles, and wonder how you could talk seriously in such position. I, also, remember the way your big blue orbs sparkled, and how bad I suddenly wanted to draw on them. I can recall everything; every single detail. And although back then I wasn't able to label the reason, I can now.

It was because I love you.

_Hoy me animo a confersarte_  
_lo que yo siento por ti,_

_Today I bring myself to confess _  
what_ I feel for you, _

Yes, it's true. I'm positive that as you read this, you'll be rolling your eyes, laughing, and considering telling James to stop writing letters with my signature on them; but I must beg of you, don't. Just don't.

I've been holding back for a long of time now, but I can't do it anymore; I can't stand it. I've always told you everything, my every thought, my every secret; and I feel like I'm betraying you by keeping this to myself.

_Día a día me pregunto_  
_¿qué le digo al corazón?,_

_Day by day I wonder_  
_what should I tell my heart?_

I've sat down and put a lot of thought into this. So many sleepless nights, so many absent-minded classes, starring at nothing.

Sometimes it comes to mind, you've always said we have to listen to our heart. Strange, really, that you say that. You have never made a decision without a second or third thought, and clear judgement. Stranger even, I, also, consider the heart to be worthy of so much attention.

I'm torn, Rosie… I need your help, but I know this is something you can't assist me with. I don't know what to do. Merlin, I definitely don't.

_Que se siente abandonado,_  
_Derretido por tu amor_

_That feels abandoned,_  
_crushed by your love_

And it aches. Rose, it aches. A lot. Most of the times I see you, I feel my heart breaking because I can't confess this secret to you, and I can't help but feel isolated; isolated and alone. I can't go back to that stage. I don't want to go back to when you weren't part of my life. No, I can't lose you. I can't risk losing you. But I can't keep putting my heart back into place after every breakdown. Every time you touch me, you hug me, you ruffle my hair, you kiss me goodbye, it hurts. Because every time, I melt on the inside and I can't help feeling hopeless and lost.

_Sin rumbo yo estoy perdido,_  
_No puedo disimular_

_Without path, I'm lost_  
_I can't pretend_

Lost. Yes, that is the right word. I have always had something to fight for, something to achieve, something to accomplish. But now, logic screams to me that I can't.

How many times did you catch me staring into space or being blue, angry or pathetically apathetic? Do you know how it feels to stand there, cut mid-daydreaming of a heavenly kiss, and having to look into your wonderful eyes and come up with a lame excuse to convince you I'm fine, when I'm positively not?

I hope you never get to know. It's one of the most horrible things I've felt. And you and I, both know, I've become an expert in horrible feelings this past year. And I can't stand any more pain. And pain is all I gain by hiding.

_Yo lo siento amiga mía,_  
_Yo lo siento, te lo tengo que contar_

_I'm sorry my friend,_  
_I'm sorry I must tell you this_

I know that after reading this letter you may feel worse that I do now, probably a guilty awkwardness, and I'm sorry I'll make you bear it. I know it's selfish, but I might explode if I don't do anything. I've tried to avoid letting you know. I thought I could fight it. But I have no chances of winning over this feeling.

_Desde que te ví, _  
_Todo es tan distinto para mí_

_From the moment I first saw you_  
_It's all so different to me_

The very first moment I laid eyes on you, I knew my life would change. I might have been only eleven, but I just knew you'd change me. And you have. You and Al. You've made me see above my name. You've taught me know how to let go; how to feel free of obligations, to act my age, to have fun, to be spontaneous. I know how corny I sound, but you changed my life. I feel different, I speak differently, I think differently. You changed everything.

_Porque tu Corazón_  
_Vivirá siempre en mí_

_Because your heart_  
_will always live in me_

And if it's not when I saw you, when you promised me we'd be friends forever, it was like I sensed you more than other people. I knew when you were around, I could feel your emotions and share a special kind of communication with you only; almost telepathic. It was like a piece of you was part of me; Like a piece of your heart.

_Desde que te ví_  
_Supe que eras sólo para mí_

_From the moment I first saw you_  
_I knew that you were only for me_

A piece of your heart. A heart that I saw broken and hurt by other boys. I couldn't help but think they didn't deserve you. I used to think that "nobody can treat you as you must be treated". Throughout the years, it wasn't "as you must be treated" anymore, it changed to "as I would treat you."

Stupid, noble me. However, in the terms of logic, of course I would treat you perfectly. I know what you love and hate, I can read every emotion on your face, I know what you think reading between your lines, I can feel what you feel. And I'm willing to die for you because I'm your best friend.

_Que mi vida eres tú_  
_Y la quiero vivir junto a tí_  
_Desde que te ví._

_You're my life_  
_and I want to live it beside you_  
_Since I first saw you_

Best friend. That complicates everything. On the other hand though, if we can skip the "what about our friendship?" part, it would be ideal. Because you are my life. [delete - And] I'd never leave you or betray you. I'd always be by your side; always. And if before I was sure I would like us to grow old as best friends, as you and me, [now] I'm positive we cold grow old together, as _us_. Okay, that sounded a bit ridiculous, but I want to be part of your life in every way. Because you are mine.

I don't know anything about the future. All I know is that I want you to be there.

_Ya no aguanto lo que siento_  
_Y no puedo fing[i]r más_

_I can't hold in what I feel any longer_  
_and I can't pretend anymore_

I've never been more frustrated in my entire life. Thoughts of you are torturing me, your touch burn holes in me, your laughter tears me up, your tears break me. Loneliness empts me, secrecy rips me inside out , and pain, Merlin, that pain! Pain makes me want to die all the time. That huge weight pushes me down to the ground, suffocating me. And I just exist there, unable to breath, unwilling to move, hiding from reality; unable to get my thoughts off you, hiding all I feel inside. But I don't know how much of it my soul can bear to hide.

_Sin tu amor me estoy muriendo_

_Bailo con mi soledad_

_Without your love I'm dying_  
_I waltz with my loneliness_

That's why I need you, because I can't do this alone, flower. I'd die for you, just as I die a little every time I get my hopes up and then realize it was nothing. So the hope always fades away, along with a newly broken part of me.

And the only solution I can afford is to sink into my loneliness. Talking or thinking about the fact that I cannot ask more of you than a friendship, only makes things even worse.

_Hice todo por no amarte_  
_Me escape de esta passion_

_I tried everything not to love you_  
_I escaped this passion_

I tried. I swear I tried a million times. I thought that maybe prohibiting my mind from drifting to you, if I got another gal in my arms, I'd get distracted from you. I tried not thinking about how much I loved you, or how much I wanted you. I kept myself from looking at any part of your body that could mean any danger to my sanity. I tried avoiding certain subjects, such as details about your so-called boyfriends or even thinking of you as a girl. Yeah, I've been through that phase too. But I couldn't make myself oblivious to your laughter, your eyes, your wicked way of thinking, your extraordinary character or even your curves.

_Imposible es olvidarte,_  
_Hoy necesito tu amor_

_It's impossible to forget you,_  
_Today I need your love_

Despite all those fruitless efforts, I still loved you, maybe even more now. Because I imagined the possibility of living without you; and for once, _I_ freaked out. Even if you can't believe it, my nerves are not made of steel. Because forgetting you is just surreal. It took me ages to realize it, but now I know for sure. I simply can't do that. Call me weak, pathetic or overly romantic, but I definitely can't picture myself without you.

So, I'm trying to be a bit of the Gryffindor you always teased me to secretly be. Sooner than later I have decided to tell you everything. The things is, I know you probably won't believe me at first, and when you realize it's the truth, you'll really wish I was lying... It's not a lie, Rosie. But here's the worst part of it all: I'm determined to fight for you.

I know you're not the kind of girl that sits by the balcony, gazing at the stars hoping for a prince charming to come by and sweep you off your feet. I know an 'I like you' isn't enough for you to put your heart on the line. But I know an 'I love you' does mean something to you, even when it's in vain. I promise, those words are the most truthful eight letters I've ever said or will say. And yes, I'm scared to death of your reaction, and what the outcome of all this will be.

There's just two sides to the coin: either our friendship will be ruined forever or... well, I'm not sure what the other option is; it's up to you.

I'm sending this with Orion, including your Christmas present. Please write back as soon as possible, even if the response is a Howler.

Love,  
Scorpius

**A/N:**That was it! Thanx for reading! Now, push the encouraging green button, cause reviews are motivating me at keep writing, and I have a few chaps of Snitches ready… All I want is a couple of good words…

Snitches,

ElAmorComienza


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